If you are one of those fine folks who has plunked this little blog effort into a feed reader, you may have noticed that it has been a few weeks since I’ve written here. This is neither an apology nor a truly meaningful explanation of such absense. Rather, it is is an elaboration of the purpose of this blog and a small anecdote of the consequences of such writing.

It woud be fair to say that I started this website as a personal effort to extend (and perhaps replace) the careless simplicity of past ramblings with something that is both more thoughtful and more purposeful. This is noted inasmuch as where in other past blogs I might have strayed from the loose course of personal topics into the realm of the scattered opinions of youth through the triumphs of parenthood to the gibbering temptations of fast-tracked publication, while in this blog, the hastiness (while not only evident, is seemingly essential) is complemented by a more topic directed approach. What I really mean to convey is that there is much lacking of purpose and meaning in an attempt to please a general audience, where in approaching something more specific — such as a professional blog where one would presumably have a more rigid topic — that purpose and meaning becomes more plain.

But as I started this blog, five months or so hence, it would have been also fair to say that while my purpose was fairly clear (at least to myself) the meaning I was hoping to convey was less so. And this has been rectified.

The purpose, if I need reiterate, is simply to create a space where I could (presumably) write (thus feeding the bubbling volcano of creativity bubbling in the back of my soul) with a professional purpose. Sure, the crafty among my readers may find themselves able to uncover archives of my old material, cobbled in past lives, much of it naive and scattered. But that is old, and the past few months has given me much opportunity to think and reflect on what is a higher purpose behind that past work.

The meaning is something more complex and a thing that I have spent now a number of months struggling to define. It is a meaning behind an odd collection of skills and tactics. I look back on the education I obtained, the experience I’ve gathered, the countless tasks I’ve undertaken, and the scattered amalgam of projects on which I’ve risked both so much, yet so little. And behind that work is an odd collective of meaningful strategy towards that aforementioned complex idea I’d been struggling to define.

And as a result I have set some goals. I have decreed upon myself a higher order of lifetime objective that is now, at the early stages of the middle of my career, accounts for every scrap of work I’ve completed and yet not a single offical bearing to have completed any of such work. It is at once deeply troubling and gloriously optimistic. Troubling, because to fulfill my self-understood purpose I have much work and many barriers to overcome. Optimistic, because it is a state of contribution, professional or otherwise, that I not only love, but I crave. And it has taken some time, but I now understand where that meaning fits into the purpose of this site:

I may not yet deserve the title, but one day you will know me as no less than a guru of information.